Hoosiers hate Tom Brady. Our flag is blue and gold, Indianapolis is the state capital, we grow lots of corn and we hate Tom Brady. Only the last have I lately realized is a truism.
While sitting in a friend’s pole barn early Wednesday morning with a half-dozen other guys, conversation turned to Sunday’s Super Bowl and then, inevitably, Tom Brady. For thirty-eight minutes, it stayed on Tom Brady. None of it was good.
We Love a Winner…But ENOUGH Already
Five Super Bowl rings is too many, and six would be downright ridiculous. At a certain point, Hoosiers (and most Americans) aren’t excited if a winner just keeps winning. Tom Brady does just that. A few bumps and slumps aside, he’s never really had a fall from gridiron grace. Five Super Bowl rings, all with the Patriots. Loyalty is nice, but so is variety. And now a sixth…? Yawn.
Brief Stop in the Midwest
Although he’s a California native, Brady first established his legacy playing football for the University of Michigan. A good-bordering-on-great quarterback for the university, Brady immediately hopped out of the Midwest after the Patriots drafted him. Eighteen years in California, a few years in Michigan, and then eighteen years in New England. Kind of reflects on us Midwestern folk, doesn’t it? Makes us feel like a layover instead of a destination.
Deflategate
Without delving into this controversy too much, Tom Brady’s name tarnished a bit in 2015 for his involvement, especially with four of his five Super Bowl rings already glittering on his fingers. Hoosiers are sportsmen (and women), and cheating is not quickly forgiven. In fact, if egregious enough, cheating is never forgiven. Deflategate gained so much momentum because it sat right on the edge of egregious cheating and simple play preference, inciting plenty of heated debate. And at the biggest name at the center of that debate? Tom Brady.
Sick of Looking at Him?
Hoosiers saw his face pasted on every sports magazine time after time after time, not to mention his ads for Stetson, Uggs, Under Armour, Movado, Simmons Bedding, hosting SNL, voice acting on The Simpsons and Family Guy, cameos in Entourage and Ted 2 and even attending the 2004 State of the Union Address as George W. Bush’s special guest. I got annoyed simply writing all that.
Tom Brady Might be a Robot
It’s hard to bond with anyone over a beer if they don’t drink beer. Or a cup of coffee if they don’t drink coffee. Want to sit down and have a conversation with Tom Brady? No problem. Lukewarm bottles of purified water are highly conducive to an exchange of ideas. It’s hard to trust or empathize with anyone that possesses a will strong enough to cut salt, sugar, fruit, alcohol, caffeine and spicy foods from their diet. They have names for those people. They’re called robots.
The last one bothers me most of all. Heroes are easier to admire when you see they have a weakness or two. Even Superman had Kryptonite (and psychological issues). It’s no fun rooting for a guy who’s nearly guaranteed to win.
I’d like to end this article with a thank you to Chris Orange, manager of the Grand Kankakee Marsh County Park who leaned over during the Brady bashing and said, “You know, this would make a pretty decent article.”
It did. Thanks for the idea, Chris.
Want to Know More?
Call it overkill, but here’s CBS Sports “Super Bowl 2018 preview: The 52 things you need to know about Patriots vs. Eagles“. If you want to know more than this, you’ve got issues.
